Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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