Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
