I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
