At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
two words: eviction party
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
