watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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