Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
