haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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