Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
