you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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