So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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