I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
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