my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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