That's intense
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
