I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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