Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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