Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
