I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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