the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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