either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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