You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She's the barista slut.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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