there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
