Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
