Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I can't put those talents on a resume
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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