Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
