I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
