how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
