State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
