get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
