and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
high people should be assigned attendants
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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