how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
