ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He? As in you personified your dick?
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