hotel room ftw
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
