Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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