The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
