Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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