i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
