we made out on top of his cat.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
