at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
