Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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