yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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