You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
