she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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