susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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