the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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