i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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