It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
