i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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