Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
