I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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