so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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